I had a conversation with my mother the other day and she was telling me about her cousin, who got a divorce after 20 years and got re-married. Cousin called my mom to wish her happy birthday, and in the conversation she told him how glad she was that he got a divorce from that woman and it is surprising how could he stand her for so long, and then asked if the new wife is any good. “Not so much” was the reply. Apparently, the new wife doesn’t cook. She buys prepared food from the store and that doesn’t suit her husband and creates a conflict. He works very late and expects a home-cooked meal when he comes home.
Interestingly enough, the new wife also works. Two jobs to be precise. She’s a doctor in the hospital and a freelance massage therapist. “I don’t understand”, my mother said, “why does she have to work. He provides enough money for both of them and she’d be better off cooking a nice meal and tending the household”.
My head was on fire. I forget that this is how culturally things are in my country. It’s okay to ask personal, actually very personal questions, especially if it’s your relative. And even though both my mother and my grandmother were strong, divorced women, who raised their children completely on their own without any men’s help, they still follow the “rules of roles” so to speak: male is supposed to bring money and female is supposed to a) find such male and b) tend the children and household, after marrying him.
It is important, while living in foreign country, remember your roots. But still some of the roots need to be torn out. And burned. I hope you understand I’m not propagating divorce or feminism. It’s just so wrong, that role division, that lack of respect for what is personal and private and some other cultural traits such as jealousy or constant pessimism.
Простите, перевода в этот раз не будет, так как это не совсем новости. Так, размышления вслух.
